As I sat here contemplating what to write about my passions, I realized that I do not have one. If you were to ask me a year or so ago, I would have responded with that softball is or was my passion. It was something that I loved more than anything. I had played for fourteen years, playing for many different teams. In high school, I played on three teams and did not have much time for anything else besides school. It was my goal even as a young middle school student to play in college which I was fully committed to doing. All of my very hard work had paid off by getting me a scholarship to college and playing the one thing I loved most in the world, but I had no idea that by playing at the collegiate level would have beaten my love for the game out of me.

Although I have met a lot of great people and made many great friends through my college experience, playing for a coach who the players feels hates them really takes the fun out of the game. Not just for me but for the team as a whole. Collegiate softball became more of a job that I dreaded going to day in and day out than the passion that I had once loved. I would count down the minutes until a four hour practice was over just so I could eat and relax after having class all morning. The physical and mental exhaustion that the team felt after everyday to try and prove yourself to a coach that feels you are no good or replaceable. After each season was, it was more of a feeling of relief where as in high school I could not wait for the next to start.

When I look back and think about how one man made me lose something I had once loved so much, it really makes me sad because no one should have the ability to take something you love away from you. Would I go back and reconsider possibly playing in college? Definitely not. These experiences that I endured I believe made me a stronger person and the friends that I have made along the way well we helped each other get through those rough times.

Even though my passion for softball may be gone, maybe one day I will get it back but I am still young. There will be plenty of time to find a new passion. Since graduating I feel that I have a new slate. I enjoy doing many things but I wouldn’t call them a passion. I have always enjoyed being with kids so who knows what that will bring but only time will tell. When I do find my new passion, I now know not to let anyone make me feel the way I did to lose it.